Within his heart
by Link-luvr
Summary: Kratos x Yuan oneshot. Yes, that means slash. A look at how Yuan helps Kratos cope, when his view on the world becomes too dark.


A.N: My first Kruan piece, although I don't ask people to be any less critical for that fact. Although I will say that this was more about character development practice for Kratos and Yuan and practice writing slash scenes than a fully developed story.

Inspired by 'The Panther' by Rainer Maria Rilke

**Warning: Rated for homoerotic content and swearing**

Enjoy!

* * *

His weary glance, from passing by the bars

Has grown into a dazed and vacant stare,

It seems to him there are a thousand bars,

And out beyond those bars, the empty air,

The pad of his strong feet, that ceaseless sound

Of supple tread behind the iron bands

Is like a dance of strength circling around

While in the circle, stunned, a great will stands

But there are times when the pupils of his eyes,

Dilate, the strong limbs stand alert, apart

Tense with the flood of visions that arise

Only to sink and die within his heart

--

He stands at the outermost edge of the mana-planet, in his private quarters, dark, aged eyes staring into a star-streaked expanse. A roiling vision of purple, black and white as the atmosphere billows around Derris-Kharlan, behind an expansive sheet of unbreakable, shielding glass.

His eyes had once been alight with wonder at this sight, but over the millennia of unceasing, unfulfilling life, his gaze had grown dull and uninterested. He had seen it all before and each time, it yielded nothing worthwhile.

Beyond that maelstrom of colours, outer space loomed, but it seemed that he had stared so long into that meaningless mass that there was no escape from life…or anything. And even if there was….was there anything worth escaping to nowadays?

Kratos turned away from the viewing window of his chambers , the tread of his bare feet on plush carpet deafening, unending to his sensitive hearing.

Eyes gazed out through the window still as he paced, out of sheer boredom now. Imprisoned in his chambers, separated from the world by an almost self-imposed exile.

Despite his ancient age, his movements as he paces are sleek and graceful, power flows from every muscle as they contract and relax to move his supple body.

But whilst the body was strong and young, the mind was cracking with age and boredom, the stress of two millennia of life. Too long had he been stuck on this planet with nothing to do but watch his former protégé fall deeper into the clutches of insanity. Torturing two worlds, and he, the teacher, can only stand back and watch…too powerless to do anything about it any longer.

There are times, however, when he looks out at those star-sprayed skies, the swirls of unending colour and he knows his dark and heavy eyes lighten, brighten a fraction.

Pupils dilate and he loses himself. His chest rises with an exaggerated breath, lips twitch into a faint smile as muscled arms lift to rest upon the stone railings before him as he returns to the balcony to look at space.

Visions of his youth flood back to him. His hopes and dreams, ambitions and expectations. His zest for life…what it was like to have the world at your feet, a head full of ideas and a heart full of hope.

He finds that recently, the lengths of these moments are shortening…and they're becoming less frequent. The visions fade and the feeling of euphoria dissipates soon after as reality winds its way back into his mind.

Hope dies within his heart once again.

--

The seraph sighed deeply, resigning himself to a pointless night of stargazing once again. Sleep evaded him once again tonight and he silently cursed his angelic body. Sleep would give him a respite from the torrent of thoughts that battered at it.

Mithos was locked away in his castle once more, trying to find a way to revive Martel and though Kratos knew that he should be trying to stop him…he simply could no longer see the point.

He stared down at his hands as they clasped upon the railings.

Distantly, he registered the door opening and closing behind someone, but like a captured animal, he found the idea of turning and looking uninteresting.

Besides, it was only likely to be one person anyway…

"Staring into space again, Kratos?"

"What would you have me do, Yuan?"

"Anything but that. Get out and do something."

"No point."

He heard the half-elf snort.

"There isn't if you take that perspective."

The marginally older seraph turned, meeting sharp green eyes with his own, dulled garnet gaze.

Yuan shook his head, sitting down on the foot of the bed as he regarded his old friend.

The man's deep red-brown eyes were half mast, the gaze taking on a disturbing sheen of vacancy. His mouth was set into a permanent; downward curve nowadays…his shoulders were slumping, hair beginning to look _too _unkempt.

He just looked so…old.

Yuan recalled when he had first met Kratos…he had been working for a sword smith who lived deep within a forest. At the time, the older boy, just seventeen years old, had been chopping wood. He had turned, a look of mild surprise on soft features as he noticed the half-elf and had straightened, regarded the half-elf quizzically for a moment before giving a faint smile and putting down the axe.

He greeted the younger boy, noted his rough condition, taken him inside the house and attended to his needs...a friendship had formed instantly.

Now, the situation was in complete reversal, and for the first time in his life, Yuan knew exactly what the other man needed.

"You really think that life is pointless?"

"You don't?"

"You were never supposed to be the pessimist Kratos. That was my job…"

"Things have changed…and not for the better."

"Then change them again to _make_ them better."  
"Do you believe it's that simple?"

Yuan stood abruptly and strode over to the other man, stopping dead in front of him.

"Yes. If you're hungry, you eat. If you're thirsty, drink. If you're hot, you strip."

"Basic bodily needs, Yuan. Not the same as life in the bigger picture."

"Isn't it? What is the world if not one body? The land needs water and nutrients, sun and oxygen, just as people do."

"No Yuan. Not the planet. Life as a whole…"

"You're getting into a subject that's too deep and complicated to comprehend there. Even for you."

"Perhaps so."

"Definitely so. Take a simple pleasure for once and you'll find yourself to be happier, even if it's only for a moment."

"You want me to…"

The older seraph's words were cut off suddenly as a pair of lips pressed against his. It took a moment for the situation to sink in and when it did, he roughly pushed Yuan away,

"What are you doing?!"

Yuan stepped forwards, grabbing the front of Kratos burgundy shirt and yanking him towards him, hands grasping his arms a second later.

"Getting you to enjoy something."

"And you think that I.."

"You spend," Yuan cut across him angrily, "everyday in this room, staring out of that window and moping around. You do nothing but complain that everything is pointless. You've ostracised yourself and you're going to kill yourself through loneliness if you don't commit suicide first. And excuse me for caring but I'm not about to let that happen."

Kratos remained silent.

"So shut the hell up, kiss me, and let go for half an hour."

The faintest hint of a smile quirked miraculously at his friend's words.

"Half an hour…Yuan, it's been years. I don't think I'd last that long."

A hand hooked behind Kratos neck, pulling his face down the couple of inches it needed to be level with Yuan's,

"Don't you think you should get back into practice again then?" The anger dropped from his voice instantly at the other's mans comment. A hushed whisper replaced it.

"…probably."

Lips slid onto lips and Yuan quickly parted his, letting his free hand slide around to the small of Kratos' back.

Kratos contemplated what he was doing as he let his arms wind about the more slender man. He had slept with Yuan on one occasion before this…at a time when both men had needed to simply forget their pain, and he wondered whether it was a good idea to let Yuan do this…he couldn't get rid of his pain by burying himself in his friend's body each time he was low.

"Let it go.." Yuan whispered, pulling away briefly, knowing exactly what Kratos was thinking. His lips slid away from his mouth a second later, planting kisses along his jaw, taking his time,

Despite the fact that one would assume the situation to culminate in a hard, fast fuck, Yuan knew Kratos' opinions on such things.

He was not what you'd call a fan of it.

Hands curled into hair and clothing as the two men stood in the centre of the room, the lengths of their bodies pressed together as Kratos tilted his head back a fraction.

Yuan's lips travelled down the length of the exposed throat instantly, paying careful attention to the knot of his partner's adam's apple, stopping briefly to gnaw at it gently.

He continued downwards, stopping when he met the barrier of the collar of Kratos shirt and he quickly slipped his hand underneath the cloth, pushing his hand up a muscled torso, hiking the shirt up with it.

Kratos felt his shirt being lifted and froze for a moment before giving in, pulling off the shirt of his own will and throwing it to the floor. Yuan latched onto his chest the second it was fully exposed, suckling forcefully at the hollow between his collar bones. He moved away once he was certain it would leave a mark and continued trailing soft kisses down the rippled body, his hands already working at belt and pant fastenings.

The older seraph wriggled, shimmying fabric down his thighs as Yuan's hand pushed it further down insistently. A second later, he was stepping out of them and arching against Yuan as he took him into his palm, massaging his length skilfully.

Slender fingers, calloused by swords, gripped at Yuan's clothed shoulders as he let the other man fist him. His abdomen pressed against Yuan's as he arched and he rubbed against him softly, working up a comfortable friction on his skin.

Yuan pressed himself back against Kratos, resting his chin on his shoulder, whispering a single, commanding word into the rounded ear.

"Bed."

Obediently, Kratos staggered backwards, unwilling to lose the sensations Yuan was lavishing upon him, but the other man pushed him roughly when he found Kratos' pace to be unsatisfactory.

He fell onto the bed heavily and Yuan was clambering atop him a second later, his cloak falling to the floor as he undid the clasps, revealing the simple white attire he was wearing beneath.

Slapping his hands against Yuan's shoulders, Kratos threw him off balance, rolling them over and pinning Yuan to the mattress, hands locked around his wrists.

"You're not having all the fun here."

"That's the spirit." Yuan murmured as Kratos released his hands and methodically stripped him until they were both bare against each other.

He lay down atop his friend turned lover, slowly rubbing his body back and forth against his, turning the motions into languid thrusts as he straddled him.

Yuan groaned, throwing his head back and jerking up against him, pushing hips against abdomen, trying to get into a suitable position for the act.

Kratos pulled back as Yuan wrapped his legs about his waist, changing into a sitting position with Yuan atop him.

The other man's hips fell into the cradle of his own instantly and Kratos slowly rocked against him.

"So…" Yuan panted, rocking down "Are you ever…going to get this….started properly?"

Kratos growled deep in his throat, and with a savage motion, slammed himself into his partner without any warning or preparation.

The half-elf howled, back arching as Kratos plunged into him, hands gripping shoulders as his mouth quirked into a smile despite the pain.

Breath hitched in Kratos' throat as he felt Yuan constrict around him and he thrust up again quickly, building a rhythm inside his partner and waiting for him to match it.

He found it within seconds and his body responded of its own accord. Blue hair clung to his back as sweat rolled down skin, the only lubricant present .

They rocked together, thrusting in perfect time to each other's bodies and Kratos tilted his head back as Yuan latched onto his throat again.

His own hands caressed a lithe muscled back, travelling down to his hips before pulling up and kneading skin as he made his way up to the back of Yuan's neck again.

Neither man was aware how long the act went on, for it seemed to take both a second and a lifetime until they came together and collapsed onto clean white sheets, soaking them with sweat.

Kratos manoeuvred his legs from beneath Yuan's body, panting for air and he continued to thrust gently, despite his softening state.

A blue haired head lifted, green eyes flitting open to stare into deep brown. The dulled sheen they had held before was gone and Yuan gave a self satisfied smirk as Kratos withdrew fully.

"Now tell me…is the world so pointless anymore?"

Kratos rolled away, pulling blankets loose from the bed and throwing them over himself and Yuan. He eyed the other seraph for a moment.

"That depends,"

"On?"

"Whether there's someone to share it with?"

A knowing smile crossed Yuan's face and he edged closer.

"And if there is?"

"Then it's worth it."

Strong arms folded around the half-elf and rolling his eyes, Yuan pressed himself up against his lover.

Even if it only lasted a while, at least he had given his friend a point to life again.

* * *

Hope that was a good enough attempt at a plot/ back story or whatever to be more than a PWP. If not, well, I tried. Anyway hope you enjoyed it..

Now please push my button (to review)


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